brain farts

To Whom It May Concern (Part 4)

Posted on: April 9, 2007

To Last Term:

So when they said dental school was going to be tough, I thought it was just going to be tough. Not TOUGH-tough. Just tough. But now I know the truth. Now the shades have been lifted. La vie en rose and all that. Now, thanks to you, I have a very clear picture of what lies in store for me these next four years.


I can’t help but wonder if you were an extra in Peter Jackson’s Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers. God knows you’re certainly tall enough. Plus, you’ve got that whole ominous look down pat. Sometimes, if I stare at you and concentrate really hard, I can almost imagine an army of orcs fleeing in the opposite direction, intimidated and scared shitless by your nefarious aura. Or maybe that’s just me. (I have a really active imagination.)

Despite our time together, I really don’t have much else to say to you, except thanks for ruining my social life. But all is not lost, for the exams have been penciled in, the wicked towers have toppled, and now the socially repressed dental student is FREEEE! Oh yes, I’ll have you know that you will be the last thing on my mind when I sit around bumming by the beach this Thursday.

Oh, and as long as we’re being truthful — having our warm little Dr. Phil moment here — I freely admit that during our hellish four months together I might have uttered a cuss word or two (hundred) in your name.

But I’m not sorry at all, you bastard!

Unapologetically yours,


To Pooky:

In the past, I never really subscribed to the whole “love at first sight” theory. But after meeting you for the very first time that late night in February — after you puked and peed all over me from carsickness — I knew that I would never be the same…

I knew that I was in love!

The Pookster!

Still, as much as I love and adore you, please don’t go digging any more holes in the backyard. It kind of pisses me off, especially when said holes start to span THE ENTIRE LENGTH OF THE BACKYARD. What’s the deal? You planning your great escape by burrowing your way to China? Hoping to strike it rich? Find a few golden nuggets along the way?

Digging for gold

Caught in the act!!!

I mean, SERIOUSLY. The right end of the backyard? It once had grass. Now it doesn’t. All thanks to YOU.

Oh, and one more thing — PLEASE stop barking and chasing after kids who bike past our house, like you did last week when you made that one British kid fall off his bike and burst into tears in fear of you attacking and giving him rabies. Dude, that was not cool. Not only is it his Songkran vacation, but thanks to you, when he returns to school next week, his essay on how he spent his Songkran vacation will be on “the crazy puppy who made me fall off my bike and scrape my knee so badly that the puppy’s frazzled owner had to drive me home and apologize to my very angry mother, who proceeded to lecture the poor dog owner on dog-rearing and how, if this were the UK, she would totally sue her.”

Not quite as innocent as you’d like to think

So yeah, I know you’re cute as hell, but please, for the love of God, quit it with the hole-digging and kid-chasing,will you?!

Frazzledly yours,


To Frank Miller & Zack Snyder:

Thank you for making a movie with a lot of hot guys 300. But more importantly, thank you for showcasing Gerard Butler’s lovely pecs in all their glory educating me on Spartan warriors and the immense patriotism and loyalty they had for their intrepid and totally bad-ass king. Some critics thought your movie was something akin to gay porn, but I thought otherwise. Just because a movie has a lot of scantily clad guys doesn’t mean it equates to gay porn. After all, you were just being historically accurate. How incredibly inaccurate would it have been for you to dress your fearless Spartan warriors in, what, Armani?! Exactly. Accuracy was of an essence. Is it your fault Spartan men wore less clothing than today’s men? Obviously not. Nor is it your fault that they were obviously very comfortable in their, um, skin.

I also have to thank you for casting Gerard Butler as King Leonidas. Since I am such an enthusiastic fanatic of the movie version of The Phantom of the Opera, I was a little worried that I would inadvertently imagine Gerard Butler running down the battlefield, only to burst into song (“Christine, I looOOove you!!!”). Needless to say, when old Gerry started charging down the battlefield in his, um, loincloth and cape, music was the last thing on my mind.

Obviously I was thinking about battle sequences and…stuff.

In short, 300 was HOT! visually stunning and HOT! incredibly entertaining, even after the third time. Yes, the third time. Of course, it’s not like I’m obsessed or anything. The first two times I watched 300, it was the censored version. Then I realized I had to watch the uncensored version in case I missed anything important. You know, like battle sequences and…stuff.

Gratefully yours,

P.S. And as much as I loved your movie, I just about DIED laughing when I saw this. (Spartaaaaa!!!) XD


To Siri:

I may be biased, seeing as how I’m one of your oldest and closest friends, but honest to God, you were the most beautiful bride I’ve ever seen (and believe me, I’ve seen a lot).

Caro, Gug, and I were honored to be your bridesmaids, and we’re really sorry we nearly gave you a heart attack on your wedding day. We know it was bad form to come tumbling out of the taxi and go racing breathlessly into the church two minutes before you were scheduled to walk down the aisle, but Caro tripping and scraping her leg was a total accident, as was Gug misplacing her shoes at the Hyatt. What can we say? We work best under pressure. :)

To make it up to you, here are a few of my pictures to help you remember your special day (plus the five I gakked from your personal album, heh).

Assumption Church isn’t dubbed the most beautiful church in Thailand for nothing



Look at those pasty legs!
The bridesmaids are in dire need of tans.

A little note from the bridesmaids

“Gimme that bouquet, bish!”

She may be pint-sized, but don’t underestimate the ferocity of her claws!
So, Caro, when’s the wedding?


Strike a pose!


Friends of the bride and groom @ The Tank

Friends 4-eva

And I mean that, too.



Currently Playing: Set the Fire to the Third Bar by Snow Patrol, which is so very haunting. Lyrically, musically, vocally — this song is amazing.

Currently Reading: I Capture the Castle by Dodie Smith, which is quickly becoming one of my favorite books ever. It was written nearly sixty years ago, but is one of those timeless pieces that anyone can relate to, all thanks to Cassandra Mortmain, one of the most charming voices in fiction ever.

16 Responses to "To Whom It May Concern (Part 4)"

Hey, thanks for that 300 parody link, that was great.

yay!! it’s Lynn again. I am glad you survived the hellish exam period– with flying colors, I am sure!!!
AND I have to say I havent been to a tropical beach since some time in HIgh School, so I am sorta highly jealous :)
Didn’t know you had a dog!! He’s sooo cute which is probably why he gets away with digging holes and chasing little british boys :)

You’re dog is sooo cute and I totally know what you mean about 300 (it being a great film). I mean, have you ever seen a film with more blood, more limb chopping, more decapitation, or more skewering with spears? I haven’t!

I saw the blurred-breasts version, mainly because I didn’t want to pay a bit extra for breasts (some would say 20 baht for breasts is a good deal), but you’ve got to wonder why the digital version is allowed uncensored when the reel edition isn’t.

Go consistency!

hey so you haven’t really been doing much, huh? ;) j/k

i think i figured out what you can do with those towers… you can fill up all the holes that pooky dug! just make sure he doesn’t fertilize them or else you might get new dental literature sprouting up everywhere!

big congrats to siri and hubby! best wishes to the both of them!

Holy cow, that is A LOT of paper. Maybe I should skip grad school and buy my diploma online or something? My fake university name will come in handy for that.

The only wear tighty-whities in 300? Hmm. I may need to reconsider my position on that movie…

Your dog is HILARIOUS. And so cute I’d want to pinch his cheeks if he had any.

Oh, fyi: S. is moving back to Thailand. (I’m making her.) She’s going to get a lovely place on the beach so I can come be a bum and mooch off her food and stuff while she commutes 4 hours altogether to Bangkok everyday. And whenever I get homesick for Maine, she’s going to blast the A/C so high that we can build igloos indoors. :)

No prob, vintagefan. Isn’t that link the best? :)

Tweet: I’ve wanted a dog since I was five! Which is why I was so disgustingly excited to finally get one. He’s a total devil, but outrageously cute. It’s so hard to get mad at him regardless of all the crazy stuff he does. :)

Ben: I know, wasn’t that movie a total ride? There were limbs and guts and blood flying everywhere, and yet it just worked. In a way, the violent nature of it reminded me of Kill Bill (also excessively gory, but just plain awesome in its creative brilliance).

Pan: I just might take you up on that idea! Ew, but then I don’t want to have sprouting dental lit to tend to…

Kate: Haha, yes, what’s a 4-hour commute when in exchange you get to lie by the beach and sip smoothies galore! And yes, when you get homesick, you should crank up the A/C and have snowman-building contests like in Gilmore Girls. :)

I’ve also always wanted a dog since I was… yeah , 8 or 9! And I STILL havent gotten around to it. So I’ll just live vicariously through yours. He sounds like such a character. So why “Pooky”? It’s SUCH a cute name!!
Kate is a deranged one… trying to switch my 10 minute commute for a 4 hour one. HUMPH.

We tried throwing a few names around, just to see which one stuck. My brother mentioned Pooky of Garfield fame (except in the comic it’s spelled as Pookie), and we noticed that whenever we called it out, the dog would bark like mad. So Pooky it was!

The problem is that my maid told us that, in Thai, Pooky (ปุ๊กกี้) is a girl’s name!! Too bad, though, cuz the dog absolutely loves it. :)

oooooooo new layout! nice!

Ooh, I wanna hit the beaches too! I so desperately need a vacation…my 6-day Songkran holiday starts tomorrow (yipee!) but sadly, I’m staying in BKK to avoid all the people who are gonna be outta town. Oh well, at least I don’t have to go work, right?

We should totally meet up when you come back! (And while you still have time away from school!) Gimme a call when you’re back and we can arrange something with Akira! (And get out your gym clothes ‘cuz you’re gonna need it after we hit those restaurants! Well, at least I will anyway…)

Aww you’re going to be away for songkran??? hehe.. I actually envy you for the time you’re going to spend on the beach too, but like Jup above… I think I’d stay here in BKK to avoid the crowd… Besides, I’m still in need of driving practices… and what better time to drive around BKK to learn the direction than songkran, right?

Anyway, too bad you won’t be in bkk this weekend though… :( Nicholas’s going to be in town for a couple of days, and some of us are planning to meet up for dinner on sunday… when are you going to be back? Nick’s heading back to the US on the 18th, i think… I’ll have to ask for more details later.

yah.. so if you know anyone who’s gonna be around this weekend and interested in meeting up… let me know… (do you have my number???)

Okay.. back to this blog post. :P SIRI is such a beautiful bride!!!! WOW…… What a day it must’ve been! Where’s she now? In the US, right? Please pass my congrats to her for me… and oh yes, you 3 bridemaids are also absolutely adorable!!!

Pooky sure has his fun. :) burrowing their ways to china seems to be something that dogs r gud at! :) u gotta see my grandma’s ‘beautiful’ garden. :P poor trees, poor grass… they died and they didn’t do one thing wrong. :P

300 is so gud. the colours make me feel depressed but the joy of seeing hot guys wraped in tiny cloth and running around stabbing each other makes me feel somewhat ok with the movie. spartans… the truly cool ppl. :)

ur friend is so beautiful. gosh i wanna go to a wedding too. my auntie got married at there too. :) the bridemaids r so cute too. :) congrats to ur friend, Siri, and her hubby. :)

Happy Songkran, Lynn!!!! :)

Oh my goodness, updates! Yes, I know, pot, kettle, black. Judging from the stacks of paper on your desk, you must be busy fighting the destruction of the rainforest, but it appears to be an uphill battle.

The doggie is cute, but I must admit that I’m still a bit put off by random moo ban canines, as they seem to be extraordinarily overprotective of their territory. Someone needs to send the Dog Whisperer over to Thailand, pronto.

Siri’s quite the blushing bride; I’m very happy for her and her new hubby.

Happy Songkran!

PS – Seeing as how we are just recovering from a nasty and somewhat unusual snowstorm, I must say, you’d better not be sitting around indoors in Phuket reading this stuff, unless it’s about 40 deg down at the beach as well, in which case I too would be hiding.

Nice pics and your dad’s place looks very nice.


“when you made that one British kid fall off his bike and burst into tears in fear of you attacking and giving him rabies. Dude, that was not cool.”

i saw 300 the other day at paragon. i had no idea what to expect- it was great!!!

those pecs and abs were the work of CG. the 7ft god-king xerxes is actually this guy (on right)-

xerxes reminded me of the burmese king hongsa in suryothai- a sort of evil katoey role.

seems you’ve been to a lot of weddings lately! i had a similar experience- went to three about 6 years ago. now two of my friends got married last year. we’re down to a handful of holdouts!

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