brain farts

Mr. Samaritan Lends a Hand

Posted on: May 2, 2007

Well, you know you’ve reached a whole new level of patheticness when Hanson posts a comment on your MySpace page advertising a site called

I know — those bastards! They even tried to make it all cutesy by adding a little emoticon and graphic of two carrot-nosed people chatting to each other online, face-to-face, which, I must add, is so totally lame because who the hell does that? Pfft, like I’d really fall for that.

I am so not pimping their music for them anymore. Except maybe for this song. And this one, because they (the songs, not Hanson — those bastards!) can make me smile even after spending a good hour trying to haul my car out of a very wet, very deep, very muddy ditch.

Which is what I did today.

Please don’t ask how my car ended up in a muddy, wet ditch in the first place. It’s all too embarrassing and painful to think about, much less recount in total detail. Right now, it’s safely compartmentalized in that far-off part of my brain called Denial, which also houses the brief moment of stupidity where I broke off a branch from a nearby tree to see if I could dig my car out of said ditch all Wonderwoman-like (I couldn’t) ; I’m sure there’s a special place in Environmentalist Hell saved just for branch-yanking sinners like me.

Instead, I would like to tell you about the samaritan who stopped by on his motorcycle and asked if he could help, even though it was raining and nearly 100 cars and 3 policemen had driven by prior to him without even bothering to wonder if the rain-soaked girl with mud splattered on her hands, legs, feet, clothes, and, oh, face might need a helping hand.

Needless to say, it was extremely nice of him to offer, considering he wasn’t exactly a sprite young thing. As thankful as I was that he’d stopped to help, I was a little skeptical that we’d be able to get the car to even budge. I mean, the guy looked like he was pushing sixty and plus, prior to his arrival, I’d done everything — besides digging with my pathetic tree branch, I’d resorted to pushing, heaving, hauling, kicking, begging, and even considered crying, except no matter how hard I tried to summon the tears, they just wouldn’t come, which was probably because I was laughing too hard at the absurdity of the situation.

Well, Mr. Samaritan got right to it, and I gotta say, he sure was nimble on his feet!!! He had me out of that ditch in no time, which was no easy feat, I tell you, my car being the heavy-ass thing that it is. My dozens of wais could hardly express my gratitude.

So even though I ended up wet and muddy; ruined my shoes in the process (damn sole just tore right off; never underestimate the omnipotent sucking power of wet mud, folks); totally soiled my skirt (poor thing couldn’t be saved, unfortunately); and could easily chalk it up to being one hell of a shitty day, I’d rather be comforted by the fact that despite all the crazy stuff going on in the world these days, there still are nice people out there.

And, no — I’m not talking about you, Hanson. You bastards. Hmph.


Currently Taking: A People magazine quiz to see if I can match the celebrity with the baby pic. Tres pathetique, je sais, but hey, I just spent an entire afternoon knee-deep in mud, okay?

Currently Playing: Read My Mind by The Killers. To me, this song is so totally reminiscent of U2’s older stuff circa their With or Without You and All I Want is You period — basically, awesome.

“The stars are blazing like rebel diamonds
Cut out of the sun
When you read my mind…”

8 Responses to "Mr. Samaritan Lends a Hand"

holy crap!! are you ok? you must be ok or else you wouldn’t be blogging. how big was that freakin ditch!?!?!?! how did your car end up in a muddy, wet ditch in the first place?!?! no wait… forget i asked that. anyway, it’s really nice that a stranger would stop to help you, but it’s really crappy that so many others did not.

about that hanson message: maybe it’s possible that their myspace was hacked or invaded by some kind of messaging virus program. or something. i don’t know.

UGH. That sucks! The policemen deserve to have muddy branches thrown at their heads for driving by without stopping for assistance.

hey lin

at least you found ONE good person to help you. and what a shame!! thai policemen are just lazy!!

Oh no, I’m so sorry. It’s terrifying to have car troubles, period. I hope you’re fine :)
Yes, Read my Mind by the Killers IS awesome, isn’t it. I was surprised when Killers jumped onto MTV… yay for popularization of good music.

Wow…hope everything’s okay now. I’ve never driven into a ditch, but one of my classmates has apparently done it three times (snow-related issues), with the same car no less. Hats off to Mr. Samaritan (did he have a big “S” emblazoned on his shirt as well?) At least things ended on a positive note, eh?

LoL, charming Lynn, haha. I think your car was telling you something that day and it was aiming for a day off :P

quite an adventure! :) i’m glad ur ok and still able to blog about it.

I’m thinking, as they drove bye you they looked at each other and said” wow, what a shitty day to be stuck in a muddy ditch. hey! let’s get a coffee and stay dry, she’s got that big branch, she’ll be out in no time…” that sucks! sorry to hear it…..but it was pretty funny….one question…what did you think you would be able to do with the big branch?….other than beat the crap out of your car…..;-)

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