Freak Magnet

Posted by: bkksoul on: June 3, 2007

• In: Photography | Wanderlust | Weirdness
• 13 Comments

My girl Caro dubbed me the Freak Magnet way back in high school, and as you can see, the nickname is most definitely here to stay.

[Along Kata beach, while Lynn attempts to play
the part of savvy professional photographer]

ELDERLY GERMAN WOMAN
Excuse me?

LYNN
(looks up from viewfinder)
Yeah?

ELDERLY GERMAN WOMAN
You (points to Lynn)
take picture (slowly mimes camera movements
as if Lynn is mentally slow) for me and my friends?

LYNN
(holds out hand for camera)
Um. Okay.

ELDERLY GERMAN WOMAN
(walks a few feet away to join her two elderly friends,
one of whom is sunbathing…topless)

LYNN
(fiddles with camera so as to avoid viewing
hanging sixty-something-year-old teabags in direct sunlight)
Uh, okay. Here we go.
(prepares to take picture while averting eyes from said teabags)
One, two, three.
(snaps picture)

ELDERLY GERMAN WOMAN
(reaches out for camera and views picture with friends)

ELDERLY GERMAN WOMAN’S FRIENDS
(converse in German while making disapproving noises)

ELDERLY GERMAN WOMAN
(hands camera back to Lynn)
Oh, no.
Could you please take it again?
My friend’s arm is not in the picture.

LYNN
(blushing)
Oh, I’m sorry.
(prepares to take picture again,
realizing this time that the teabags just can’t be avoided
if a proper picture is to be snapped)
One, two, three.

GERMAN WOMAN AND FRIENDS
(review picture and beam)
Very good! Thai people are so nice! Thank you!

LYNN
(walks away and chances a glance at glaring sunset in hopes of
eradicating imprint of said teabags from traumatized corneas)

~*~

[The next day, Lynn attempts
savvy professional photographer stance once again]

ITALIAN GUY
Hello.

LYNN
(looks up from viewfinder)
Hi.

ITALIAN GUY
You are Taiwanese?

LYNN
No, I’m Thai

ITALIAN GUY
I see.
(motions to camera in hand)
You are a professional photographer?

LYNN
No, I’m a student.
Photography’s just a hobby.

ITALIAN GUY
What do you study?

LYNN
Dentistry.

ITALIAN GUY
(nodding)
Yes, I see.
Your teeth, they are sexy.

LYNN
…..

~*~

I rest my case.

Anyway, despite the freakish run-ins, my daily excursions to the beach haven’t been completely fruitless. Phuket sunsets are ridiculously easy to photograph; you pretty much point and shoot — and voila! Everything is bound to come out looking fabulous. It’s as easy as prepping a TV dinner.

 

I have no idea how that got there.
Honest to God.
The seagulls must have been loitering around again.

Came across a pier later…

That lead to a little fishing village…

Which had some pretty awesome seafood

Honing my self-photography skills

Thought the clouds were a total pain at first,
but then I realized that they offer a fantastically dreamy effect, no?

Obligatory emo sunset shot.

Full moon!
(But no party.)

Wheeeee!!!!

~*~

Currently Reading: The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini, one of the most stunning books I’ve read this year — actually, make that ever. There’s not much I can say about this novel that can do it justice, except to recommend that you read it and discover the heartbreaking beauty of The Kite Runner for yourself. It’s one of those very rare novels that remain with you for a very, very long time.

Currently Playing: Let’s Get Out of This Country by Camera Obscura, possibly the best indie-pop act to come out of Scotland ever. Full of Belle & Sebastian and The Smiths influences, the lyrics are smart and gleefully direct, and Tracyanne Campbell’s voice is as wistfully melancholic as a lazy summer afternoon. I love it. Stand-out tracks include Let’s Get Out of This Country; Lloyd, I’m Ready to be Heartbroken; and Tears for Affairs.

“…We’ll pick berries and recline
Let’s hit the road, dear friend of mine
Wave goodbye to our thankless jobs
We’ll drive for miles, maybe never turn off
We’ll find a cathedral city
You can be handsome, I’ll be pretty…”