brain farts

Getting My Arse Kicked

Posted on: November 27, 2007

I promise there’s a good reason why I’ve been MIA for so long; a reason that explains why I’ve pretty much dropped off the face of cyberspace — whether it be here on my blog or on Facebook, the one place I used to check even more than my email (because, really, there’s no better way to keep up with what’s going on in so-and-so’s life than FB’s newsfeed, um, not that you heard that from me) — and pretty much real life. Basically, I’ve been getting my arse kicked. By none other than the biggest, baddest foe I’ve ever met.

Dental school.

So when I signed up to dental school, I knew it wasn’t going to be a walk in the park. I knew that it was going to be hard work and that I’d have to cut down on my social life and all that jazz. But seriously, I didn’t think it was going to get this tough this soon. To demonstrate, here’s an example of my Monday schedule, although I promise I won’t be offended if you decide to skip it entirely as it’s long-winded and probably the most TEDIOUS, most BORING, most GOD AWFUL schedule in the history of the universe.


6:00 AM: Alarm rings. Hit snooze button and desperately cling to last vestiges of sleep.

6:00:02 AM: Have successfully grabbed  sleep by the balls (proverbially speaking). Am now in deep sleep.

6:05 AM: Alarm rings again. Curse like a sailor. Groan at aching pain in legs, reminding self to swear off heels, much less think of buying heels for the next three years as there won’t be any other occasions to wear them to except in front of the full-length mirror in the front hallway. Trudge to bathroom.

6:25 AM: Get dressed. Am thankful for uniform as it eliminates one more daily obstacle since I don’t have to think about what to wear for the day. Apply makeup, especially focusing on the eyes. Attempt to eliminate traumatized raccoon/about-to-be-poached panda/dead corpse/masked bandit look. Depending on level of fatigue from the previous week, am usually not very successful.

6:40 AM: Grab quick breakfast from refrigerator, that usually being some yogurt or soy milk or green tea or whatever’s on hand. Breakfast for champions? What’s that?

6:42 AM: Scratch The Dog behind the ears on the way out, just the way he likes it. The Dog responds with a light snore. Gaze longingly at his deep sleep and wonder what it must be like to be a dog and do nothing but sleep, eat, and go around peeing on other people’s fences all day (marking one’s territory, you know). Nice and relaxing, true, but probably pretty boring just the same.

6:45 AM: Leave house.

6:50 AM: Proceed to get stuck in traffic, but take the golden opportunity to study for the complete denture quiz. And eat my breakfast.

7:05 AM: Traffic is still as stagnant as ever. Decide said opportunity isn’t so golden anymore. Continue reading about horizontal relations and maxillomandibular records, nonetheless.

7:10 AM: Secretly admire the adroit motorcyclists weaving in and out of traffic. Contemplate buying a motorcycle to ride to school if it means not having to battle traffic every morning.

7:15 AM: Am finally on the move!

7:20 AM: Am stuck in traffic again. Am bored of studying about horizontal relations and maxillomandibular records and decide to listen to some music, only to discover that the CD player is busted. Turn on the radio instead. The news is on (go figure), which I actually don’t mind listening to, except it’s none other than the annoying Thai news guy who’s main goal in life is to annoy me with his horribly awkward and fake British accent (JUST SPEAK WITH YOUR NORMAL ACCENT, FOR CHRISSAKE). Turn off radio and decide that reading about horizontal relations and maxillomandibular records is more entertaining than listening to Annoying News Guy.

7:25 AM: Traffic relents! Race to school like a madman. Am secretly thankful there are no speed limits (no official ones, anyway) in Thailand as would probably have much abused driving license permanently revoked by the time am through with dental school.

7:54 AM: Arrive at uni.

7:55 AM: Race into class with dental kit in hand, looking an awful lot like Medusa, what with my frazzled hair flying all over the place. Discover that I’ve missed THE FIRST HALF OF THE QUIZ. Suppress inner sailor and try not to swear.

8:00 AM: Complete denture class starts.

8:20 AM: Struggle to stay awake even though 11 other people have already dropped off like flies.

12:00 PM: Head to lab to stow away said dental kit, only to discover that blasted record bases for denture lab have miraculously grown cloudy overnight, resembling the palate of an HIV patient with a (***WARNING!!!***) full-blown Candida infection. Skip lunch to start over on record bases. But not before unleashing said inner sailor.

1:00 PM: Complete denture lab commences. Room promptly fills with the unmistakable scent of liquid monomer, prompting the memory of the prof who said last week that there have been numerous reports stating that the smell of liquid monomer can cause liver cancer, sterility, and/or both. Attempt to convince self that said prof was joking.

1:30 PM: As the scent of liquid monomer grows to mind-numbling levels, said prof jokingly cracks that at least it’s better to get liver cancer from making dentures than from indulging in drinks at the pub every Friday. Decide said prof is not a very good comedian.

2:00 PM: Stomach grumbles in hunger. Remember that lunch was skipped to work on teeth. Pop some Mentos into mouth to alleviate said stomach. Stomach growls in response. Stomach is clearly not satisfied.

2:20 PM: Phone rings. It’s Gug. Can’t answer phone as hands and arms are covered in acrylic resin powder. Remind self to call back Gug later, even though the same scenario happened on Thursday and I forgot to call her back.

2:30 PM: Begin trimming record bases with motored handpiece and only realize that it’s flying into my hair when Daniel says I look like I’ve been in a snowstorm. Or that I’ve got a really bad case of dandruff. (Not very sexy, I agree.)

3:30 PM: Smooth out remaining bumps on record bases by using spinning rag wheel, only to cut hand on said wheel. Wince in pain. Go in search of some Betadine.

4:00 PM: Begin work on occlusal wax rims. Accidentally burn self with paraffin wax. Thrice. Remind self that complete denture lab isn’t everyone’s cup of tea.

4:30 PM: Stomach is in full-protest mode. No amount of minty-fresh Mentos is going to satisfy this stomach. Burn self with wax again. Pain in pinky helps divert pain in stomach. Momentarily.

5:00 PM: Clear up materials and head to the other side of the campus, where tutoring classes for the upcoming (BIG, BAD, SCARY, AND MUCH DREADED!!!) board exams (both Thai and US, natch) are held. Want desperately to ditch said classes in exchange for some much-needed sleep, but decide not to, since failing the board exams means not getting to practice and, um, pretty much defies the whole point of dental school. Duh.

6:30 PM: Don’t remember ever having learned any of the things the prof is teaching. Inner Board Exam Clock begins ticking with excessive, almost gleeful, abandon. Break out into sweat.

8:00 PM: Tutoring ends. Suppress urge to do my Happy Dance.

9:00 PM: Arrive home. Eat, lest The Stomach decides to revolt with a raging peptic ulcer. Shower.

10:00 PM: Continue working on occlusal wax rims. Burn self with paraffin wax for the umpteenth time, except this time it leaves a scar. Repeat to self: No pain, no gain.

12:00 AM: Take a break and hang with The Dog. The Dog rolls onto back and lifts limbs for belly rub before deciding that he’d rather sleep than play with moi. Am just slightly offended. Am also officially jealous of the Dog Life.

12:15 AM: Head back to work on the dentures. Think to self that all the hard work is worth it if it means giving an edentulous someone back their smile (see picture below). Repeat it like a mantra. Burn self with paraffin wax again and promptly forget said mantra.

2:00 AM: Attempt to study for the boards to ease my increasingly paranoid inner Board Exam Clock (T minus 5 months and counting, and still no knowledge in head!!!!!!!!). End up wondering how one is supposed to cram 2 years worth of facts into one’s head within T minus 5 months and counting!!!!!!!!!

3:00 AM: Collapse into bed, but not before brushing teeth, of course! Do not want to have to make a set of dentures for myself anytime soon.

3:01 AM: Sit up in bed with a start, suddenly remembering that I’ve forgotten to call back Gug. Again.

I told you it was tedious. And boring. And probably the most God awful schedule in the history of the universe because, oh, by the way, there’s also class on SATURDAY AND SUNDAY, two days when the rest of the world are off frolicking around town or storing up on some much needed rest. And apparently this semester is supposed to be EASY. Apparently it’s only going to get tougher and more rigorous from here on out.

Still, despite my (um, long-winded, self-pitying) online rant, I knew what I was getting into when I signed up to this jig. Which is why, despite my moaning and whinging, I’m in it for the long haul. So, this is my official warning in advance to everyone that if I suddenly disappear from the face of cyberspace or real life again, you’ll know why. It’s not because I’m off partying on some sunny tropical island or have skipped town to travel the world or have decided I couldn’t be bothered to email/call back/meet up with you…

But rather it’s because I’m too busy getting my arse kicked!

Now I gotta go prepare for the Pharmaco exam this Friday (aka the exam I haven’t even started studying for — gah!).

6 Responses to "Getting My Arse Kicked"

Wow P’Lynn. You just made my life seem like a nonstop party at Cancun. I was just whining today about how exhausted I was because I had to stay up past 3 AM for the 2nd time in my four years in college to finish a paper. lol …nevermind ><

Lynn– that sounds truly awful. Wow, this can’t be sustainable. Hopefully your weekends look better in terms of sleep….

hopefully you’ll have time for a GG break tomorrow!!
Oh yeah I just got told by my dentist that I have to do a post-core and crown on my tooth where I had a root canal. which all sounds like greek to me, but very EXPENSIVE greek :P

hope it wont hurt. im a wimp.

poor lynn! i blame this all on the tooth fairy. that b!tch!!

สู้ๆ !!

damn. i saw this thing on tv called a mentos bomb. you put mentos in a 2-Liter bottle of diet coke. then watch out.
good luck, dude.

Poor girl. Hopefully you get to relax during the holidays.
Every once in awhile I have a dream that I did not study for an exam I have to take even after 10 years of being out of college. It keeps a fresh perspective on what that stress used to be like.

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