brain farts

Archive for the ‘School’ Category

  • Your idea of a nightmare involves your teeth falling out.  Dreams about ghosts or getting shot are soo overrated.
  • You can’t help it when your gaze inadvertently drops about 3 inches south of a person’s eyes when you speak to them, even though you know it makes people feel uncomfortable, like how talking to a totally random person who just happens to be a psychologist makes you paranoid that they’re psychoanalyzing you.
  • It’s even worse if said person has chipped/crooked/crowded/stained/restored teeth because all you can think about is how much nicer they’d look if they got a nice set of veneers.
  • You’ve gotten really good at applying liquid eyeliner and eye makeup in general because hours upon hours of drilling teeth has taught you how to have a super steady hand.
  • You used to freak out whenever your clinical instructor would tell you to drill 0.5 mm deeper.  Now you’ve gotten so used to itty-bitty measurements that 1 mm might as well be a kilometer long in your book.
  • You pass the time at boring dinner parties and social functions by analyzing what type of occlusion everyone has…and how best to fix it.

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And as if the prospect of spending the next two weeks in Italy wasn’t enough of a head rush already, I just found out yesterday that I ACTUALLY PASSED MY DENTAL BOARD EXAMS?!?

Holy shit. Too much excitement to handle here. Way too much excitement.  In fact, I’m still in a bit of a daze and am still having a hard time believing it, really (the part about passing my boards, not traveling to Italy — that I’ve been dreaming about since, oh, forever).


Currently Playing: Catch You by the uber glam Sophie Ellis-Bextor, whose super stunning, super vivid music video was filmed in none other than Venice. Can’t help but wonder if I’ll embarrass myself too badly if I try to reenact said video while I’m there? Something tells me that the answer to that question is a resounding HELL, YEAH.

Currently Reading: Villa Serena by Domenica de Rosa.

To 3rd Year (aka the Year that Very Nearly Killed Me):

No offense or anything, but boy am I glad I’ll never have to see you again. You sure did give my ass a whooping now, didn’t you? All those weekends spent doing root canal access openings and long nights spent with the books sure did teach me a thing or two about appreciating the small things in life, like naps. I mean, seriously, if I had a penny for all the times I thought to myself, “God, I’d kill for a nap,” I’d be off sailing into the sunset somewhere around the Mediterranean right now.

And geez, your buddies? All 16 of them? They sure didn’t make things any easier, mind you. Take the best of your pals, Microbiology and Pathology, for instance. They very nearly turned me and every last person in my dental school into raving hypochondriacs. I swear, My Girl’s Vada Sultenfuss had nothing on us. I mean, it was totally normal for us to be all ready to dig into a steaming hot bowl of kuay thiew tom yum, only to stop short and ponder about the striking similarities of the noodles to Ascaris lumbricoides, and to wonder if that’s the reason why some of us (not me, obviously) can devour a pint of ice-cream and a loaf of bread before hitting the sack, and still remain as thin as a rail. Or how about the countless times we were learning about some random disease in Patho, only to notice an obscure spot on our arm and go, “Shit, do I have dermatitis herpetiformis? Does that mean I can’t have gluten? But I can’t live without — oh wait, that’s a mosquito bite.”


But thankfully we got over it. And lived through it. And man, although you’ve taught me SO incredibly much this year — stuff that is actually starting to come together and make sense, stuff that I can actually see myself applying to real live patients in the future — I still have to say, THANK GOD I’LL NEVER HAVE TO SEE YOU AGAIN.

Au revoir, sucka!

But thankfully yours,

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I promise there’s a good reason why I’ve been MIA for so long; a reason that explains why I’ve pretty much dropped off the face of cyberspace — whether it be here on my blog or on Facebook, the one place I used to check even more than my email (because, really, there’s no better way to keep up with what’s going on in so-and-so’s life than FB’s newsfeed, um, not that you heard that from me) — and pretty much real life. Basically, I’ve been getting my arse kicked. By none other than the biggest, baddest foe I’ve ever met.

Dental school.

So when I signed up to dental school, I knew it wasn’t going to be a walk in the park. I knew that it was going to be hard work and that I’d have to cut down on my social life and all that jazz. But seriously, I didn’t think it was going to get this tough this soon. To demonstrate, here’s an example of my Monday schedule, although I promise I won’t be offended if you decide to skip it entirely as it’s long-winded and probably the most TEDIOUS, most BORING, most GOD AWFUL schedule in the history of the universe.

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A motorcycle ran into my car this morning, leaving a nice 5 inch-long dent on my bumper. While waiting for the insurance guys to show up, I noticed her shirt. At first I thought it was a regular Coca Cola-themed shirt and didn’t really pay much attention. Then I took a closer look. Oh, how I erred! On it, it declared:

“Enjoy Cocaine…
It makes you speed!”

Sure does make you speed all right!

Yeah, speed smack center into the rear of other people’s cars. Man.

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To Last Term:

So when they said dental school was going to be tough, I thought it was just going to be tough. Not TOUGH-tough. Just tough. But now I know the truth. Now the shades have been lifted. La vie en rose and all that. Now, thanks to you, I have a very clear picture of what lies in store for me these next four years.


I can’t help but wonder if you were an extra in Peter Jackson’s Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers. God knows you’re certainly tall enough. Plus, you’ve got that whole ominous look down pat. Sometimes, if I stare at you and concentrate really hard, I can almost imagine an army of orcs fleeing in the opposite direction, intimidated and scared shitless by your nefarious aura. Or maybe that’s just me. (I have a really active imagination.)

Despite our time together, I really don’t have much else to say to you, except thanks for ruining my social life. But all is not lost, for the exams have been penciled in, the wicked towers have toppled, and now the socially repressed dental student is FREEEE! Oh yes, I’ll have you know that you will be the last thing on my mind when I sit around bumming by the beach this Thursday.

Oh, and as long as we’re being truthful — having our warm little Dr. Phil moment here — I freely admit that during our hellish four months together I might have uttered a cuss word or two (hundred) in your name.

But I’m not sorry at all, you bastard!

Unapologetically yours,

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Thanks to minimal sleep and the flu I caught last week, my throat is on fire and my eyes are drier than the Sahara. But all is good, because the week from hell? C’est finis!

A tout a l’heure, suckas!
(Well, until after the new year, that is.)

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